The Last Letter-- Part-II

Priyansh sat opposite to her and Shanaya glared at him blankly not knowing how to react next. It’s been 5years since he had left and from then, they never met again. Their paths never crossed each other, as Priyansh had decided. Unlike today. He never thought of coming across her, not this way, this place. Shanaya, lost in her own world of happiness, never gave it much thought but deep inside, she missed her best friend, she missed Priyansh.

“I thought you were as talkative as before, but all you are doing is to ogle at me. Do I look bad?” said Priyansh casually. As if they had never parted, as if they were the same old besties.

“uh? Oh yeah, Sorry. And I have turned out to be more talkative these days I guess, so don’t worry I am not going to bore you. And about looks? You have grown old.” Shanaya winked and laughed. He saw her smiling and he smiled seeing her sparkling face after years and that soothed his pain like never before. There was awkwardness between them, yet they shared words and laughed their heart out reliving those good days and remembering their school friends. In between the talks, Priyansh kept looking at her face, her eyes, the smile, the chirpy voice that he had been missing all these years. Shanaya caught his stare and moved her eyes and blushed like a kid.

After their dinner, Shanaya got back with her book and Priyansh tuned into his playlist and there was a silence between the two again.                                                                                                                                  “So, what’s going on in your life?” said Priyansh, breaking the wry silence.                                                             “Nothing much. Good as always. Getting Married next week and going for a short holiday with Rishab before our marital status change.” She said with an excitement but then turned conscious with her words looking at him.                                                                                                                                         “whoa. Great. Congratulations to both of you and wish u all the happiness in the world.” He said with a fake smile. Rishab didn’t expect it certainly, and his wounds seemed new and fresh all over again. The pain was even more intense. He looked away from her, looked out of the window trying to ignore the words that were ringing in his ear.. “ Getting married next week…”                                                                      “What about you, by the way? What’s going on in your life?” Shanaya asked him excitedly trying to change the cloudy mood. “ Me? Ah! Having a good job, a good salary, a big house to live in and same routine every day. Sounds good. Isn’t it?” he smiled at her sarcastically.                                                             “wow Mr. Richie Rich, sounds cool. Girls must be drooling over you. Any Girl Friend?” Shanaya was happy and excited but she must have not expected such a reply.                                                                 “No, I forgot to add, an empty life with a heart already filled with love. Love for my Shanaya. I am done with my share of love.” He smiled at her innocently.                                                                                                   She looked into his eyes, for the first time since their sudden meet, she couldn’t smile back.  She did not expect it. Wishing him good night, she placed herself comfortably on her berth and closed her eyes. She remembered all those days she had spent with Priyansh, she remembered how strong their bond was and how every single second, they dedicated to each other. She realized life has changed for her and she has moved a lot far but somewhere Priyansh was still loving her silently, just like before. With thoughts clouding her mind, slowly she fell asleep. The night came to an end but the impact of the night was still there. Shanaya’s sleep was disturbed by the different irritating sounds on the train and she woke up realizing, her destination was quite near. Opening her eyes, she started looking for Priyansh on the berths beside but she couldn’t find him. He was no where near to be seen. Her face dropped of disappointment. Something struck her suddenly. It was a white folded sheet placed over her luggage.  It was a letter. A letter from Priyansh.

Shanaya,

I never thought I would come across you again in my life, not this way at least. Though I missed your presence in my life, I had decided to stay away. Your company added happiness to my life, added colors to it. My life seemed complete in those days when I was your one and only partner- with whom you shared your tears, smile, laughter, joy and every single thing. I never thought of being without you, I never thought I would lose you someday. I know, I was being a fool but I could never imagine you with someone else and so I never did. When you told me about Rishab, I couldn’t stand those words but I knew you loved him a lot and you were happy. Your happiness always mattered to me and so I decided to go away from you. I left with a heavy heart but somewhere I knew you would miss me as I had left you with enough memories. I was afraid to look back and so I never came back and never let our paths cross. Today, fate brought me back to you but not for any good. I won’t say I am happy to know that you are getting married but am happy to see you happy with him. You were excited to know about my love life. I would say, am happily in love with you and I don’t mind doing that. I never stopped loving you and I never will. We promised to be there for each other forever no matter what. But, we both broke the promise. I left you and you never needed me. Life has moved on for both of us but my love is still the same, fresh and new. But I always preferred your happiness and I still do. I wish you a happy married life with Rishab and I wish to never meet you again because I still cannot imagine you with anyone else. On the last day of our exam, I wrote you a good-bye letter and believed it was the last one. But today am writing again to you, and I promise, this will be the “last letter” from me to you. I bid you a final good-bye. You look cute while sleeping and I didn’t want to disturb your sleep. I am leaving, all over again. We are departing, all over again. And yeah, I love you, just like before. Take care

“Your” Priyansh.

Shanaya wiped her tears that were flowing down from a long time. She looked up and the train had already reached the station. Keeping the letter safely inside her bag, she walked towards the door and saw Rishab standing there and waiting for a glance of her. She saw him grin widely and just as the train stopped, they ran to each other and Rishab hugged her tightly and her happiness was beyond limits again. Comforting herself in his arms, she wiped the last tear drop and smiled like a little kid who had found a chocolate factory. Rishab held her hand and started narrating his plans excitedly. Shanaya was back to her world of happiness and hopped and laughed with Rishab describing her own plans. Things went on… But the journey surly had an impression on her.. 

The Last Letter---

Light rays entered the room peeping through the window like a nasty neighbor trying to eavesdrop  the gossip going nearby, and succeeded in unsettling her peaceful journey in her dreamland. She twisted sides, but her dream was already shattered and her eyes, even though closed, could reciprocate to the shining day-light, waiting for her consent to enter completely and lit up the entire room. Finally diminishing the urge to hug her blanket tight, she decided to wake up and begin her day. Sitting on her bed, she looked out of the window… and the sun rays, like an obedient apprentice, shone even brighter and her evenly tanned skin was glowing a bit more giving her the perfect silk look and to add to it was her innocent fresh smile like a newly bloomed flower with water-drops adding more beauty to it.

Amidst her dream-world, she realized, she has a train to catch in the afternoon.. and holy shit! It was 8.30 am and she had bags to pack, certainly not an easy and fast task for a girl.. a girl like Shanaya. She is a girl living in her own world of happiness and colors. With darkness, she meant night and which further described- Party, lights, music, dance..  She had her own dictionary with her own creation of synonyms. People around, envied her as they never saw her crying or complaining about life which was not at all perfect but which she treated like a perfect gift to her from God. But little did they know, her smile was too influencing and her tears were too opaque. She believed, Life is how you see it, take it, and enjoy it. She loved being chirpy, loud, crazy and people couldn’t not love her. She believed in extremities, creating her own boundary. She loved her friends beyond limits and she hated her enemies, even though very few, to the extreme.   “Love” was always a fantasy to her. From all sorts of romantic movies to books, she never resisted the concept of love.. Loving and being loved! Dream dates to surprises…  A Prince charming and a Grand wedding, she had it all in her mind. Not once, but hundreds of times. 5 years back she found her “Mr. Perfect”… Yes, with all his flaws, he was still her perfect guy as she loved him with all her heart and her “extreme-ness” reached to a new level. A perfect-couple, as people said and they were nothing less. Rishab was “the guy” she realized and they decided to fulfill the dream of a grand wedding of theirs.

In a week, Shanaya would be living her dream in a gorgeous designer lehenga and jewelries in a perfectly set stage for their grand wedding  .. She and Rishab would tie their knots forever. Before that, both of them planned to spend a two-day Pre-marriage Holiday, together. Nothing would change after a week, they knew, yet, they decided over a lame excuse to be together. Shanaya decided to travel to Rishab’s place and that too by a train, unlike always. She always believed in being different and crazy. 

But little did she knew, the journey would leave a different impact on her ..  With memories flashing back and promises she couldn’t keep. Even though the impact was for a short period, memories came back only for a moment, but the intensity was beyond limits..                                                                                                                                                                                               

Coach S-4 Berth-7, Shanaya Rawat. She was struggling with her luggage- big enough for a two-day trip. Finally she reached her destination after a lot of hard work and relaxed on her window-side seat. With a smile glued to her face, like always, she was waiting for the train to start and experience a journey new to her and above all, the happiness of meeting Rishab after hours of waiting and travelling. She rested on her seat with a playlist of her all-time-fav songs in her I-pod and the Train began to move. She looked out of the window and let the breeze play with her hair like those in her favorite Hindi-movies. Shattering her perfect scene of a romantic movie, out of the blue, she heard her name being called by someone. She detached her ear-phones and instantly looked up, and to her surprise, she met a known-stranger amidst the crowd.

Shanaya must have never thought of coming across him, again, not this way at least. It was Priyansh, her Best-Friend from school. They were buddies meant to be forever, or that is what everyone thought like and they shared Friendship, everyone envied of. Not a single day people could see them detached, even during their fights, they stayed together without talking .. though for a short time always. They were BFF’s and they promised to be together forever..  Little did they knew….                                                        Life was perfect. Till, one fine day, Shanaya told him about the guy in her life, the one she considered to be her “forever”.. Rishab. With her innocent smile and chirpy voice, like every single thing, she shared this happiness of her with Priyansh but she had never expected a reaction full of rage and hatred. The guy she considered to be her best friend since years, was silently falling in love with her each day and a bit more every passing moment. But the very thought of losing Shanaya, an important part of him, stopped him from speaking out his heart. It was their last year of school when Shanaya informed him about her newly found love, Rishab and he couldn’t tolerate her words, words of love for Rishab. Recovering from her shock, Shanaya had asked for an explanation for his rude behavior and that was the day, Priyansh finally confessed his love towards her. There was no Proposal, no acceptance, no rejection.. rather followed a broken friendship, tears and misunderstandings. They never talked about it again, never tried to sort it out because Priyansh’s love for Shanaya was beyond words, explanations and Shanaya was head-over heels in Love with “her” Rishab and distanced herself from her “Best-friend”. Nobody was at fault, it was Cupid who was at wrong. Few months of their “last-school-year” passed and they never met after school ended. But on the last day of their school, Priyansh gathered some courage and walked towards Shanaya to talk. Seeing him approach, she got conscious but even she was dying to hear his voice since long. He told her that he is leaving the city after the exams and certainly they are never going to meet again, until fate decides and gave her a letter. She blinked rapidly to stop her tear from flowing but in vain.

She still had that letter with her where Priyansh described his love with the perfect words and for the first and last time, he deciphered his eternal love towards her. He wanted her to be happy and so decided to not cross her path again as he was not unaware about the pain she received with their detachment and her disability to correct things. He couldn’t see her sad face. He decided to leave.

Continued to Part-II 

Distance Matters..Only when You want it to!

I checked myself in the mirror all over again and looked at the watch. I was dressing up so much for someone for the first time in life and all I wanted was to look good. No matter what the temperature is, a girl can always beat the cold when it comes to dressing up and I am no exception. It was the last day of the year and undoubtedly one of the coldest nights, yet I was wearing my favorite knee-length dress with matching heels on. I wanted to look perfect and special as the night was certainly special to me. It was 6.45 and my patience crossed it’s level, my nervousness was reaching its peak and I was trembling.. not due to the extreme cold 31^st night but due to anxiety and impatience. It was “our” first meet after all.

Yes, we are in a long distance relationship and we don’t know from when but it’s been months that we are in love.. truly-madly-deeply. It might sound crazy that how can you fall in love without meeting and knowing a person, but we share a different bond. We have been friends first, then turned to soul-mates and now happily being together in spite of the distance. ..

At around 7, finally I got a call from him and he was there! I was all set to meet him after those hundreds of video chats, long late night talks, 4 months of staying apart and missing each other, yet I was tensed and almost freaked out. I saw him walking towards me and all I could do was smile, blush and look away. Finally the long waited time was here, the distance disappeared and we were standing right next to each other, not virtually, but in reality! After all our chats and unstoppable talks over skype and phone, there was an awkward silence during our first meet. We both were feeling shy, we greeted each other with a hug which was way too awkward and formal… yet, it was the first one and first of everything is special. It took us a few minz to believe the reality and dilute the awkward silence between us and as always I began with my chatter, which he always likes. We felt comfortable being with each other. I was extremely happy to be with him and dint stop blabbering and smiling. Unlike always, he was quiet and shy i guess! I couldn’t stop looking at him, into his eyes.. He was looking handsome no doubt and we complemented each other. I  felt complete with him. His presence was something that enlightened me.. it was our first official meet but it seemed 2 me as if i have known him since forever. All these days i have been planning, dreaming for this day but i could think of nothing after i met him.. all i knew was, my happiness went beyond limits. I had the best ending to a year and also the best beginning of a new one. I didn’t hesitate being with him, it was a new feeling and somewhere I felt, I have been with him this way since forever, it was something known yet fresh and new. He treated me like a princess.. he treats me like one, every single day! I saw the respect, love and care in his eyes, attitude and words. We had the best days of our life but I love the way he keeps telling me, “the best ones are yet to come, just grow old with me”. I had those few days with him where there was no tension to count the time to check the time-difference, I could meet him anytime, I could be with him, not virtually but really and those were the best ones. We have lived our “Forever” in these numbered days..

Now that he’s gone, all I can do is just wait for him, wait to be with him again. The wait might be months or may be almost an year but now I believe, it’s worth waiting at times. People say distance relationships never work as distances always creep in, I myself never believed in one. But until you find that right person of your life, even being together doesn’t help. In these days, I have realized, distance actually never matters.. Love does! It’s all about how you feel and if you have the will, you always find the way. No matter how many miles apart we are, he is always the first guy I talk to after waking up and certainly the last one I talk to before sleeping. Even the time difference couldn’t disrupt us. We of course don’t get to meet every day, celebrate every occasion together, and we do miss “us” being together but we know how to begin and end each day together, and make each day count, make it special. A bond can never turn weak or it never breaks because of the distance, rather it grows stronger with trust. Distances never let people fall apart. Wrong feelings, wrong person and lies do.

To all those who said, it never works.. It does, only if you want it to. Being in a Distance relationship is cute and i believe they have the courage to fight with every obstacle.

To all those who are worried about the distance… Don’t be. At the end of the day, it’s the love that matters, it’s the trust that makes you stronger. So stop worrying and keep loving! J

December Dream..

The mist was growing white and dense

It was only me and you-“Us” with no fence

And then I could see the sight turned haze..

Your presence was enough to erase every maze..

The December night, we on a frozen road

Only your warmth  , that could comfort

A journey began without any destination..

And your existence to me, turned to an addiction..

I could hear the heart-beats, I trusted most

I could listen to the silence engrossed

Which contained words, unspoken..

For I knew, you would never leave it broken..

You looked into my eyes, stiffened the grip

You are the one, I knew, I would forever keep

The ticklish feeling and a chill ran down my spine..

Distances never mattered, as I believed, you are mine..

Swathed around in your arms, on a winter night

 Having you beside, with the entire world I could fight..

You lifted me up, and a warm hug, the feeling was first

And new, but deep-rooted was our Trust

I closed my eyes, but I could sense the whiff

I could feel you closer and hear your sniff..

The world seemed dark, but you embraced me

In your arms, and then there was light I could see..

A beam of light peeked, enlightened the stake

I tried to open my eyes but I could feel an ache..

The ambiance seemed unalike, I was sunken

As I realized, it was a dream, incomplete-broken..

But the morning light raised a hope, a will too

Some dreams remain incomplete, cause they’re meant to..

But some are broken to revive it, and I knew

 You would come, to make the dream come true..

Unsolved Puzzle... Part-II

…I was tensed but also.. the wait for the day, for our meet, began…..

 I was waiting for his text but there was no sign of him after that day. I could only wait for his call and wait to know when I could meet him. I kept reading all our conversations again and again. I couldnot stop missing him… yes, he was that much important to me.

Two days later-

I woke up in the middle of the night suddenly. As a habit,I checked my phone but to my surprise,there was a text from him!

“Hi beautiful..missing me na? I know.. meet me tomorrow at the café near your house at 5.30 pm! Don’t be late.. dying to see u “

The sleepiness vanished within a second and I could listen to my heart beats. I sat on my bed, blank and just waiting for the time to pass away..

My mind was void but the excitement was at its peak. The morning arrived finally but I could not think of anything else…

The time seemed to have come to a hault. The clock seemed to have stopped. Or may be I was waiting for “that” particular time only.

After a long struggle with the never ending day, finally it was 4 in the evening. Usually it took me few mins to get ready but the day was special to me and the enthusiasm was at its best!

From deciding what to wear, to get ready, it took me an hour and may be for the first time. I was going to meet “him” for the first time after all and my happiness knew no bound. Finally at 5, I was all ready to meet my mystery guy but there was still more 30mins left!!

This time I decided to leave rather than staying back. Suddenly a thought crossed my mind. I thought of checking out the nearby archies shop and buy something special for my “someone special”..

I found a card which had the perfect words scribbled on it- “To my someone special.. To the one who made me feel special”

I reached the café 10mins before the scheduled time. Of course, the wait was getting too long for me. I took a corner table and kept staring out of the window. The evening seemed so blissful, as if more colours were added to nature suddenly. I could see people running, walking, moving on in their fast life-only mine seemed to have stopped for a bit.

Coming out of the world of thoughts, I looked at the time and to my surprise, it was 5.40pm!! I got up from my seat and started looking for him.. but I never saw him before! I dialled his number, but-not reachable! My heart beats were faster now.. wasn’t he supposed to be there 10mins back?? Even if he is late, why can’t I contact him?? All these thoughts were hovering around me and my excitement turned to anger and frustration.. I went out of the café and kept dialling his number. But no use!! Did he lie to me?? was I being cheated by this “mystery guy”?? but why?? We were best friends.. he would never do that to me atleast.. there was a battle going on between my mind and heart. I was scared. It was 6mins past 6 and there was no sign of him.

6.15 pm-

Finally the call was connected.. my heart skipped a beat, I was sweating like a pig and all I wanted was to hear his voice..

“hello”. It was an unknown voice.

“hello, who is this??” I couldnot say anything more. I realised, I did not even know his name. I knew nothing about this guy, yet I was going crazy.

“Sorry mam, this phone is not mine. Do you know the guy to whom this phone belongs? We brought him to the central hospital! He met with an accident and we are unable to find any identity. The doctors said, his face is completely destroyed and cannot be identified”..

My phone slipped down my hands, the card fell down on the ground, and I could see darkness engulfing me….

As if there was no life left… I travelled back and there was this flashback of memories, of my mystery guy.. I didn’t even know his name! I realised how important he had turned out to be but now things fell apart.. I couldnot breathe, my head hurt and I lay on the ground..embracing the dark and the feeling of emptiness. I had lost him, the one I admired,loved, the unknown “someone special”..  whom I can never “know” ever again…

Days passed, life moved on.. I couldnot dare to go to the hospital. I had already lost “him”.. I had locked up myself in my room and the loneliness turned out to be my only companion.. his presence changed my life and I felt good but now his absence changed it all over again..

Sometimes, we come across people who changeour life forever. Their existence turns out to be a reason for our happiness. Sometimes, we get to know them better and sometimes they remain unknown to us, like a mystery.. and not often we get the chance to solve it.

We live with the belief that they will be with us forever and someday the mystery will be solved.. life is uncertain, we never know what is waiting for us the next moment..

I believed, he would be by my side forever.. I didn’t even know his name but that hardly mattered to me, he was my someone special and I felt, this unknown guy is so known to me.. little did I know, I would be left with few memories only and an “unsolved puzzle”…

He walked out of my life but the impact was strong, strong enough to make me live with those little memories.. and I guess that is when you call someone, your own “someone special”…

Unsolved Puzzle... Part-I

It was a normal Sunday morning for me.. as usual I woke up late in the morning or I can call it afternoon as well! With a cup of coffee and the daily newspaper I was all set to begin my day. A Sunday is usually packed up with plans but that day was different.. I was completely blank and bored with no plans around. Frustrated, I called up my bestie, Nisha, to avoid a boring weekend but hard luck! She was out of reach.. exactly, out of my reach,must be grooving up to her party plan. I was even more annoyed by then. Keeping aside my phone, I switched to my laptop and logged into FB. But few minutes later I got bored again! I was fuming up with anger and begin to text all my friends in order to save me from the house arrest. After 5mins my phone beeped and with hell lot of excitement I picked up te check it. But no, that was none of my friend. Infact an unknown number and a text that can make any girl’s day- “Goodmorning Beautiful”!

I was staring at the number for some time,if I could recall but I couldnot find any name. I usually never reply to unknown numbers but there was something special about the text and the urge to reply was too much. So without a second thought I typed- “who’s this??”. By then I was a lot chilled and looked for some better options in order to spend my day. I got hooked with my favourite soap series and almost forgot about my cell. It was 4pm when I finally heard my phone rang and I rushed to pick up but ended up only searching for it. The screen showed- 20 messages and 7 missed calls! Aarrgghh.. where have I been?! I got a text from Nisha saying that she went to her farm house with her family and to my surprise, all the other texts and missed calls were from that unknown number..

I begin to read them one by one..

“Me? ummm..someone who wants to be ur “someone special”…”

“u dere??”

“Busy or angry?? :/”

“hey,now am tensed, where are u???”

“reply me atleast…gosh this is getting too much for me”..

I smiled confusingly while reading the text. Who was this person and why did he get so worried for me?? does he know me?? or was that someone playing tricks??

I decided to call back rather than texting..

The call was connected and with that my heart beat ran faster and faster..

“hello” I said softly.

“where have you been? I was getting tensed”. I expected a hello atleast but that was really surprising!

“hello, you there?”. Said he.

“umm yes, who are you?”

“I already said that. Did not u read my text?”

“Stop kidding around and tell me who is this! Do i even know you?”

“No, but that’s what I want! To be your “known”.. I was getting frustrated and impatient.

“ Anyway, you have already started thinking  about me it seems but am sorry sweetheart, I gotta leave now..catch you soon” and he disconnected the call..

I was left with no words and all I could think was, who was he?? His voice was charming and he was right, I have already started thinking about this ‘mystery Guy’..

It was 12.00 am, not too late for me and ofcourse not a sleeping time. The Sunday without plans was no doubt boring but surprisingly thoughtful. In the silent dark night, may be somewhere I was waiting for “him” to call me, may be I was waiting to hear his voice.. but I din’t even know him!

1.20 am-

I picked up the call..

“hello” I said in a sleepy voice

“hey angel..sleeping?? sorry but couldnot sleep without hearing to this sweet voice” he said.

I was wide awake by then but I din’t know how to react.

“ will you please reveal your identity?? Am asking you for the last time! Or else stop calling me!!” this time I was anxious and angry!

“ you will ofcourse know that but can’t you just be my friend and let me be your unknown friend for sometime and then gradually start knowing about me?? won’t that be great??” His voice seemed more charming this time.

I had no idea what was happening and who he was. May be he was too good to be avoided or may be too charming to influence me…

Yes, we turned to buddies soon! “unknown friends” and he was still the “mystery guy” but I never felt uncomfortable with him, as if I knew him forever. He solved all my problems and we shared every happiness. I stopped asking him his identity.

He was indeed special.. I kept him safe with me and din’t let anyone know about him. I was turning possessive, surprisingly! By then, there was a bond between us! “Friendship” and a true one indeed.. he was like my “secret diary” where I could pour out my heart!

It was more than 3 months… The only thing I knew about him was, he was special to me, my problem solver, my support.. my “mystery guy”..

One afternoon-

He called me.. his voice was different! I could feel something was wrong with him..

“what happened?? Are you alright??” I asked.

“No! can we meet??”

“Ofcourse..tell me when?” I was waiting for this day from the time we became friends. He had told me, one day he will himself call me to meet up and the day arrived but I could guess, something was wrong with him.

“will let you know soon. Till then take care. Will catch up soon”

“but…” he disconnected the call..

I was tensed but also.. the wait for the day, for our meet, began….

Just to let U know- You are Special

                                                   
                                                   BFF- Best Friends "Forever"...
I wonder, how my life would have been without "that" special one in my life! The one with whom I share every piece of my emotions.. I call her my Best Friend!
Nahh..not really! I call her- "CHUCK"!! :P Just because I love to call her that! words will be very less to describe, what she means to me.. words will be very less to describe "13 years" of our life that we have shared... But I can ofcourse try :)
May be I don't remember, exactly when and how we became BFF.. neither do you! It was the very 1st day of our school life..the beginning of a new journey! we were in the same class.. all were unknown to me! I don't remember how and when we mixed with each other and turned to great friends.. but I remember watching you talking to few other folks in the class.. I was too small to understand but may be there's something we have shared from the beginning and so nobody knows when two unknown kids turned into best friends.. nah- we used to exaggerate it a bit more- "Bestest Friends"
That was Kg-1.. the first year of school life! most of the memories are fading away but few left marks which we can never forget! It's been 13 years of being together.. and only we know how much we can talk and about what :P we were unseparable.. nah we "are" actually..
Life has changed.. people changed! we so many coming and leaving! we cried, laughed, bitched and what not but all together.. we even fell in love together..remember?? ;)
Not that we don't do these thing anymore!! time has changed but we-not even a bit!! we still do the same..
I have found you beside me whenever I looked aside.. never did I feel lonely and that is because of you.. we got angry, we fought too but so little that I don't even remember..
but unforgettable are the part when you guide me through the right track, when you make feel good, when we share those little and big things, when we stand beside each other at every point of life..
I still remember the 1st day of class-6.. how we cried just because our sections got divided! staying away was a nightmare back then.. Life has changed now but this "love" remains the same :)
I am glad I found you, I am glad I have you..I am glad, God really thought about me!
The knot is tighter now..the knot which no one can break.. I am just lucky to have such a "BEST FRIEND"..
before writing, I thought I would share every precious moment of "us". but now that I am writing, I feel every second, every minute and every day is special..and really words seem so less when it comes to feelings and memories..
Just to let you know what you mean to me.. just to make you feel special! :) we have always been together but I hope even the distance won't matter... How far we may go, I hope that special "spark" will last FOREVER..
sometimes we do need to make the person realise their value in our lives.. this is for you! even though I am not habituated calling you this.. ANANNYA- you really made me the luckiest one just being my
                                                 BFF- Best Friend Forever :)
                                                           love you hamesha.... :*

LOVED & LOST! :(

We Don't realise the value of someone until we lose them..but is it so?? Not always..

Dedicated to the person I loved and lost..

It's been more than a week now.. no calls, no visits! I miss u terribly.. I wish I could hug you,for the last time.. I wish I could talk to you some more.. I wish you were with me now.. never thought you would leave me, leave us so early! Life is certainly not fair! Now that you are gone, it's hard for us to accept the fact, the truth.. I thought you would wait, for some more happiness to come! But God is so unfair.. why can't he just keep the good people on earth..with us.. even the tears flowing all day long can't describe the pain I carry inside and can't explain the love I had shared with u.. and how terribly I miss you..

Time never stops, nobody waits and life just goes on.. but the pain remains, may be hidden somewhere!
It's not about moving on every time..it's about getting habituated with the pain..
I remember those childhood days of mine when my transport was your neck.. may be the best travelling experience ever where you would embrace me and take me everywhere.. now that you are gone, who will praise me for those every small thing I did..who will motivate me to go on with every good work I did?? I remember, I showed my 1st writing to you.. you were the one who appreciated me and always told me to keep writing coz u felt I was good at it.. could not you just wait a bit more to see me shine in life?? could not u just wait a bit more...just to be with me for longer!
I remember every single touch of yours.. now that you are gone, who will caress me the way you did??
It took few seconds for you to fulfill every wish we made and never did u let us stay disappointed..
The words seem too less to describe your love for us.. the word seems too less to describe what to meant to me, to us.. Now that you are gone, everyday I pray to god to convey you a message..
I MISS YOU..
You left us but never our heart...you are there and will be there forever.. love you JETHU!

P.S- he was not just my uncle, he meant a lot more to me.. R.I.P

We are Nothing without "Them" :)

She was goin through the album of her school days.. The old pics took her to a ride of those “good-old-days” with her “Buddies”

Nidhi is a happy-go-lucky girl by nature who never got tired of talking and loved to make friends..her friends loved her, pampered her and she was the “kiddo” of the group..

But unfortunately, every good thing comes to an end!

It was time for her to leave the best-school days of her life and enter into a new road and begin a new journey..

She flipped through the pictures and travelled down to the memory lane where she could hear the laughters with her friends, she could she the tears rolling down after fights..

The good old days came as a flashback to her all of a sudden and she started living them once again.. the vague memories turned crystal clear! Her friends, best-buddies and all those “out-of-this-world” happy days were right infront of her..

There was a group pic-all the crazy bunch of people,her friends in a single frame on the last day of their school life..the pain was not invisible though there was that mask of extreme happiness or enjoyment..

Her eyes turned moisten and she went back to that day, where promises were made and friendship was relieved…

“now get up guys, bohot nautanki ho gayi..you girls na!! screamed Ali,seeing the girls bursting into tears.. It was their last day after all! The “Group” was about to fall apart..they believed that nothing could even touch their friendship but it was the distance that mattered to them..everyone had different dreams and destinations!

Okay enough of it now..we are not dying yaar,just moving to different places and won’t we meet every year during vacations?? Ofcourse!! Then? Just relax.. an over senti- Tiya uttered the words,controlling her emotions which was really hard for her! She was Nidhi’s best friend and from the time they were in school,they were inseparable….

For the first time,they were going away from each other and now they had to share secrets through STD calls..yes! that was the first thought crossed their minds!!!

Keeping their “mixed” feelings aside, everybody got into the groove once again, just to live their last moments together.. Nidhi,the most energetic and crazy girl, was low,unexpectedly! She was sad after all…really sad! But nothing stopped her from dancing her heart out.. it was the best she could do..

They had their best night but was again, another best thing came to an end! It was the end of “their” night..

Rishab left the dance floor and came to sit near the pool..he looked back and saw his friends enjoying..he gave a wry smile and realised he was going to miss them like hell!

Kruti came and sat by his side, she caught his thoughts and hugged him tight..

I will miss you,said she,unable to control her tears anymore.. Rishab couldnot utter a word and just hugged her back.. The music slowed down, the dance floor emptied and each one of them were sitting by the pool side.. A weired silence which contained lots of words in it.. atlast Nidhi decided to break the silence..

She started speaking, We may be moving to different places, meet new people, make new friends, live our dreams, stay away from each other and the calls may turn to STD now, may not meet almost everyday,not even the weekends..we are still going to be the same! The same crazy bunch of people, the inseparables, the “Buddies”.. what else do we need?

This is not our last night together..this is just an end to an everyday-craziness, after all even we need a break guys.. isnot it??

Tears rolled down from their eyes and Nidhi was no exception..

She continued, at the end of this of this beautiful night with my group I want u all to promise few things to each other..and these promises are NOT meant to be broken ever..

A tinge of smile glued to their lips and like always they stood in a circle, intact, and promised never to forget each other, never to break the “circle”, remember everyone’s birthday,meet during every vacation,call whenever they could and the most important one-To carry the group picture wherever they would go…

The last group hug they had and “it” came to an end.. unfortunately!”

Nidhi could her tear drops on the picture..sshe rubbed them and looked at each of them once again.. she missed Tiya the most. Even when they talk almost once a week(yes, now it was not everyday) she miss her “old” bestie.. she missed Ali, the dude of the gang and the sweetest guy she ever met..she missed Raghav,kruti, Akansha,Karan and everyone of them…she missed “those” days… the “not-meant-to-be-broken” promises were broken a lot of times and since many years, the birthday wishes were forgotten! She really missed her Friends..

After wiping her tears, she closed the album with a smile and a satisfaction! Suddenly her eyes struck the watch and it was 1 min.to 12.00 which meant it was her birthday after just 1 min.

She heard her phone ringing and it was an unknown number.. first,she thought to ignore but then, ignore a call on your b’day was not a good idea..

She picked up the call.. “Happy b’day to you, happy b’day to you.. happy b’day to our kiddo..happy b’day to you”.. a chorus song was all she could hear and it did not take her any time to recall the voices..yes, it was them! Her “buddies”..this time they did not forget their Promise.. And this was the best thing for Nidhi, the best she could wish on her Birthday…

We go away from our friends, loose contacts, donot even meet..

But we never FORGET them..we live our “Best Days” with them after all..

Just A "Pause"!!

It was around 10 in the morning.. I was returning home from my tuition classes! A normal day, same road and just a distance of 10 minutes which I usually surpass by humming any song that comes to mind…

Today was nothing different… at the beginning!

I took a rickshaw and was on my way.. suddenly, near a crossing I saw a tiny crowd! As a matter of fact, all my attention was turned there.. I don’t know exactly what happened but ofcourse I could guess the most of it.. there was a rickshaw which was mostly stopped by the police..and a girl was sitting there! The rickshawpuller was an aged fellow.. he seemed really weak and needy! But, what was more terrible was that I saw the young girl shouting at him infront of all those people and even using slangs.. I did not look at the girl.. instead, I saw the face of the man.. weak,terrible,sad,helpless or may be I imagined too much.. or may I don’t have words to describe what I saw and what I felt!.. A Pain!!

He was silently listening to everything that girl said but did not reply..

It was just a “small” moment for me..few seconds may be but the intensity of my “mixed feeling” was a bit too much.. wish I could pause for a moment,stay back to the place, listen to the whole thing and atleast do something..but I couldnot..or may be I DID NOT!!

It was may be among those hundreds of incidents that happen everyday, every minute..

But sometimes, few incidents leave marks and may be help us learn few things.. we call them “Realisation”.. I realised the pain..when I “viewed” it, I felt pity..

But, would it have been the same if I was the do-er?? Yea, sometimes we do feel bad and even regret for our deeds..but is that the same always?? We don’t really pause and think about those “small” happenings..

I may not have felt so bad if I was not a viewer in this regard..we see, we feel, we understand..but do we always apply??

Next time, what if I do the same with someone like the poor guy?? Would I realise “this” pain, “then”??

We talk a lot but do very less..we see a lot but care less..we realise a lot but forget very fast!!

P.S.- I still wish, I had paused there for sometime…

Run A"Way"!!

No! It wont work..

Running away never works..

We try to run and hide

From fear,pain,death-'LIFE'

And it never works really..

Yes, I tried, tried to run away from you

not because I can stay without 'you'

but because, it's hard 'to be near and yet so far'

I know you know it,then why do you pull me back??

why?? to 'push' me again??

I wish I could read your mind and heart

cause I get a feeling,there is something you are hiding!

what is it?? 'love', 'pain','tears'?? what can it be??

I fail,fail to understand! myself and you..

and yet again try to run away from 'you'..

Though I know,'you' will pull me back

yet, I try...

But...what if you don't?? will I be able to walk away??

The thought of 'being away' from you scares me so much,

then why do I even try to run away??

Just to get pulled by you??

Staying back seems easier,when you pull back

but 'running away'..can i 'ever' do that??

Baby, I call it 'not' love..rather 'life'

where you cannot just run away..

And where the 'pull back' sometimes let you 'breathe'

and then you find 'no other way'..

Then why do we even try??

even when we know life is not just "happiness"

It's about both, smile and cry..

we run away from what hurts..

then, what about the "smile" we get after the scars??

No,we cannot...

Cannot run away from life..

cause, there's always that "pull back"

No matter how far we run and strive..

Any Strings Attached???

The wind was soothing and comforting..I was lost in my own thoughts! Sitting in the back seat of the car, alone and with a soft track in my play list, I was enjoying the breeze and my own world of a certain happiness.. unaware about the busy roads and people, I kept on looking at the cloudy sky and also the stars fighting to retain their position..
I was waiting for mom and dad to come back from whatever work they went for! But my thoughts did not let me bore..
After a while, the wait became too much for me to bear..yet no way to escape!
With nothing much left to do, I finally decided to take a look around myself, at all those busy faces..
Bored with the boring people around, I saw my parents coming and got some relief..

Suddenly I thought of taking a look around once again and I looked back.. a bike stopped near the car and a guy in a black suit got down from it.. the guy was handsome! .. I looked away as an usual habit.. But something was different! I felt an urge to look back.. and to my utter revelation, I saw him looking at me as well.. though, it was nothing to be shocked, yet I was shocked..

He looked amazing in his suit.. his eyes had a charm

Eye contact with an unknown guy was not a big deal.. but Eye-contact with an “Unknown” guy and a known Feeling was disquieting..

He looked into my eyes and caught hold of  me,through them.. I  ogled at him as if I knew him.. we shared an instant connection.. everytime we see a movie or a daily soap, we find a sudden wind blowing and music playing around whenever there is an eye contact between the leads or any “love” scene.. It always seemed funny to me.. reality is harsh and even after hundreds of eye contacts we hear no sound track playing inside our heart or around! But startling things do happen sometimes.. gazing into his eyes, I felt the wind blowing stronger and it was more comforting.. even though I had already stopped the music player of my phone, I felt a soothing sound from within..a different sound! There was an unidentified attraction between us.. even those few seconds appeared like a decade.. the look in his eyes told a thousand words, as if he knew me.. the feeling was no different in me!

I heard the front door open and got back to my senses..Reality! mom and dad were back..

Even then I did not realise what really happened but a sudden feeling forced me to look back..and guess what? I found him looking at me as well..as if he wanted to stop me.. wish I could…

I had no idea what he thought or how he felt, but I wish I could stop that time.. it was not about looks or a fatal attraction, it was something unique, something never felt before..

The last second I looked into his eyes and my heart skipped a beat..the car started to move..and speeded away!!

It’s not about a love story with a sad or happy ending! It is about the feelings.. sometimes we don’t realise what is going on with us.. we do get surprises sometimes..

I see hundreds or thousands of known and unknown people around me everyday but never did I feel such an attachment.. wish I could see him 1 more time.. just to know what he thought,just to know what he felt, just to know if it was the same as me.. I wish I could see him again.. but this is life.. we come across many people in life ..few of them stay with us,many of them leave and very few leave us with a thought.. I don’t know him, I don’t know his name or anything else.. even his image seems blurred now.. but I am left with a thought.. why?? It was not an usual thing.. we really don’t feel this way even when we cross our “crush”..  the “moment” is a past now.. but sometimes we forget even the spectacular happennings of our life.. for me it was one of them and I know I will forget it, may be by tomorrow.. but we do need to keep a “note” of few things we don’t wanna forget!

But....wish I could see him one more time..

P.S.- This is all about "sudden feelings" and may be "Reality"...

Believe "IT"....or not!!

“The road was gloomy…there were no street lights,no vehicles,not even a single house..it seemed to be a never ending road with nothing except huge walls on both the sides.. I was sprinting through the lanes..I couldnot breathe, felt choked,yet I continued running..

Was there something or someone after me?? or was I after something or somone??

The chase continued..

After a while, I could see a tinge of light but I couldnot find the source.. I had not much time! Few more miles I completed and the fuzzy vision was materialising into a clear one.. I could see her

Nothing was after me..nor was I after anything or anyone…

….She screamed for help, But no one took a step forward! The goon was after her, I could see the sharp edged knife in his hand but why was he chasing her?? I was unaware..

All I saw was,the girl crying for help and screaming out of fear..she was tired of running,

Her legs almost gave up,but her heart was brave..she did not stop!

The sight fierced me, the heart beat went faster..I saw the girl,she was beautiful, innocent but appeared tired,weak and terrified..I could see her running but the thug was faster…

The moment she was out of my vista,my heart skipped a beat..she could be dead anytime

My head gave me a severe sting..the pain was unbearable but imagining the girl lying dead encased with blood was ghastly…someone has to save her..I have to save her

I couldnot think of anything else except running…I had to save her! The trail led me to a pitch black road..my heart pumping loud! I had no strategy..I just had to save her..        but how?? I could just continue running in order to catch up with her.. in order to save her..

The roads turned darker..then coverted into lanes, by-lanes but the chase continued..

After a while, I could see a tinge of light but I couldnot find the source.. I had not much time! Few more miles I completed and the fuzzy vision was materialising into a clear one.. I could see her..

But she was not screaming or crying..The goon was nowhere near! She looked mesmerising in her white gown..she changed her clothes?? Though her eyes looked absurd,her appearance was dazzling..she bade me and started leaving! I tried walking but couldnot move…what had happened??”….

….I could hear a music..but it seemed to be a noise to me! I felt drowsy..My eyes were tired as if I was deprived from sleep..the vision was blurred! The noise grew louder.. I opened my eyes..with a lot of twinge! I felt suffocated..I started gagging and it took a lot of time for me to get back my breath!! I found myself on my bed..how could be here?? Wasnot I running down the slender lane?? Was it a DREAM??? No..it can’t be..

The sun was already above..I realised I had been sleeping for long and it was just a dream..a nightmare actually! Somewhere the fact seemed unacceptable for me.. It couldnot have been just a dream! I knew the road, the lanes.. V.T.Road, Lane 13/4..

I shifted my mind and hurried myself to get ready..It was late! It was weekend and my friends must have been waiting… in no time, I was ready but the freshness was missing!

I looked worried..deviating my mind,I rushed out of my house..It took me about 10mins to reach the place, The Shopping Plaza..I could see my friends and their expressions were enough to make me apprehend my mistake…I was late!!

Along with them I started walking towards the entrance but something came to my notice.. though I was never interested in reading newspaper, my eyes caught a vision.. The headline…

      “Girl Killed by a goon..No hands to help” I rushed and picked up the paper.. the address read V.T.Road, Lane 13/4..there was a photo of the girl….

Yes, I recognised her..I tried to save her…It was not just a Dream!

 I felt throttled and weak..I fell on the ground! ….and then darkness swathed me!!

It was not just a DREAM….

P.S.- Sometimes nightmares do come true..believe me!!

...And here I "set off"

Bored with Boredom I am all set to start a new blog! A girl who loves to write but too lazy to make herself work, is finally doing it.. I love writing poems more than anything else..oopz, I love myself more actually ;)..so,May be a small Intro through a poem won't be bad :)

            A small town girl,with dreams that touch the sky

           With hopes,that are big..A Heart filled with emotion

           A small wish..like those Birds, to fly High..

          And eyes,in search of a pearl lost in an unknown Ocean..

         Love to be in my own World, a colorful canvas

         Drawn with the paint brushes of my own imagination

         Not alone though, with the people I really trust..

        Live in a World,which for me,seems to be my own creation..

   

       In search of something,which is rare to find

       But I know, sometimes magic works without magic wand

       And I know, someday that "something" will be mine..

       Here, a li'l bit of love,not the fake one though,Is all I demand.. 

Not a good one though,yet I begin with it..and ofcourse "here,a li'l bit of love,is all I demand" :)

P.S.- I am "trying" my hands in writing..so a little bit of flaws "here" and "there" is acceptable :P ;)